Ever since childhood, I dreamed of going on an African safari.

I thought about what it would be like to sit on the back of an open-aired Landrover and watch lions, elephants, hyenas, leopards, wildebeest, zebra, rhinos, cheetahs, and giraffes run free in the wild.

So, when it came time to wave my girlfriend off to the Kruger National Park in South Africa my heart broke.

I knew it was coming. In the weeks leading up to their big adventure, it had become clear that I just couldn't afford to go with them.

I was on the back of a couple of bad business decisions, $2,000 in debt, and without an income or even the slightest signs of one.

So, as much as my inner child tried to convince me to money and take the trip, anyway, I just couldn't justify it, especially not for a 2-week holiday.

So, I dug my heels in and waved my girlfriend off with a happy-for-you but sad-for-me smile.

The next two weeks shaped the following three years

While everyone was away, I spent the next two weeks housesitting for my girlfriend's family. They have a beautiful poodle so I spent a lot of my time cuddling her on the couch, going for long walks, and self-reflecting. I scrutinised my decisions over the last decade and found some obvious self-sabotaging behaviour and self-limiting beliefs. Both, I quickly realised, kept me locked in old habit patterns and financial woes.

One of them was that I'd quit when things got difficult or too intense. This meant that I'd often leave before I could see anything through. Another one was that I didn't believe I was worthy of money or success. At times, I didn't even believe I was worthy of happiness. So subconsciously I acted in accordance with these beliefs to reaffirm them. My life circumstances were just the result of these ongoing decisions.

Instead of berating myself, though, which is something I'd done in the past, I tried to cultivate compassion. These were very valuable insights I was learning about myself after all, and I knew if I used them correctly they could become my greatest strengths.

"If I know where my weaknesses are," I remember thinking. "I can avoid them better."

During this time, I picked up a book by Kiki Theo called Money Well. I read the whole thing from front to back — all 300+ pages — in three days. I just couldn't put it down. I even completed all the tasks she had set out in the book too.

This was the beginning of something new. I was no longer thinking about why I was where I was, I was now taking steps to move away from it.

When my girlfriend got back I had a renewed energy.

She walked in a little sheepish, like someone who wanted to hide how they truly felt.

She'd had an incredible time but felt guilty about it because she thought I'd be upset.

After quickly moving past that I then heard all the amazing stories from their time away. They saw elephants, zebras, and giraffes. They saw leopards and lions. They even saw the endangered rhino.

It got scary at times too. One night a pack of hyenas came into their camp and started skulking around. Their red eyes piercing through the dark night sky. Luckily, they moved on without any harm but by all accounts, it was touch and go for a minute.

Unbeknownst to my girlfriend, instead of upsetting me, this further inspired me to change my ways. "Next time," I quietly said to myself, "I'm coming with you."

It was a silent pledge to nobody but myself and it stayed that way.

There's a saying that goes, "Insecurities are loud. Confidence is quiet."

I didn't need to tell anyone of my mission, I just needed to quietly go about my business and make it happen. And that's exactly what I did.

My vision created a laser-sharp focus

As I said earlier, I never had the staying power to see anything through so nothing major materialised in my life. I'd done jobs and then quit. I'd found homes and then left. I'd met lovers and then moved on.

This time, however, with a more open mind, I doubled down on my writing and poured my heart and soul into it.

In the beginning, I sucked. Months went by without a peep. My girlfriend then began to pile on the pressure to get a job because there were no signs of progress. However, deep down I knew I was going to make it work. I had to make it work.

About 9 months in, I had my first viral article and it changed my life. Not that $1,000 is life-changing but it confirmed that I was on the right path. That gave me everything I needed to continue. It also helped me pay off my growing debt.

Two years have gone by since then and I've written over 725 blogs on Medium. I've launched a weekly newsletter on Substack, plowed money into long-term investments, and nearly finished a book.

I've come out of debt, become financially stable for the first time in my life, and haven't looked back.

I still haven't been on a safari (yet) but I'm doing what I love every day and because of that, I feel like the luckiest man in the world.

My focus continues to grow

As things have progressed I've become even more passionate about what I want to share with the world. So, now I'm on a mission to diversify myself even further. Soon I'll be launching my first YouTube channel and I plan to turn my book into online courses next year.

Things are moving faster than ever before but instead of feeling like I'm the one pushing ahead, I feel like I'm the one being carried along.

"When you do things from your soul, you feel a river moving in you" — Rumi

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