In the late 2000s, a young man named Han had a breakup.

Han was what you'd call a star performer. He was smart, funny, good-looking, a great athlete, and a fairly good student. Han, in everyone's opinion, was destined for greatness.

Han knew that too. He knew he would succeed at whatever he'd do. So, when that breakup came his way, he wasn't sure how to handle that. He dropped out of school for a while and completely stopped doing everything that defined him.

It'd be months before he'd be back — but he came back a different person. He was bitter and unhappy. Even though he'd claim that he had moved past that breakup, he never really did. He formed a fear of abandonment that'd come back to haunt him.

Years later, his mother passed away due to cancer. Han lost it at that moment. His latent fear of abandonment completely took over. Unfortunately, some people with evil intentions saw that. They saw the vulnerable Han and manipulated him with their sweet talks.

Due to their influences, Han would end up committing crimes. He would later be incarcerated for two years. Even though he'd leave those criminal acts behind, the marks of them would stay with him. Han would remain full of regret. He'd ask himself —

"Why did everything start going wrong after that breakup?"

From our point of view, nothing was going wrong after that breakup. He still aced exams, got into a great engineering school, graduated as a computer engineer, and secured a good job. Nothing was going wrong, at least externally.

But in his mind, he couldn't get over that moment. Tony Robbins says one thing repeatedly, "If you're in your head, you're dead." Han was living inside his head. He was re-living those days in his head to figure out what he could have done differently.

It's not uncommon to get stuck after a failure. Han wasn't the only one who handled failure miserably. There are many others who learned to expect success from early days. They'd all be shell-shocked when they'd meet their failure. In many cases, they'd need significant effort to get back on track.

What we forget is — Failure is inevitable. There's no way we can avoid failure or heartbreaks or challenges in life.

What we do after that failure defines us. We can either choose to get stuck in that moment or learn & move on.

Failure Is An Inevitable Step of Life

Life is like a flight of stairs. After you fail, how you handle it decides whether you'll be progressing to the next step.

In many cases, it boils down to how we handle the incident. The incident itself may be big. But you'd see other people navigating through similar or worse situations with ease.

If you look around, you'd see less privileged people are happy with what you consider to be a struggle. There's a quote from an actor in India, who was describing the struggles & privileges of the children of existing stars. These star children usually enjoy a privilege due to their existing network and find it easier to enter the industry. While the actor agreed that even these star kids have their struggles, he also mentioned— "Where our dreams come true, their struggles start."

Of course, everyone's journey is different. Just because someone else can handle a situation, doesn't mean you'll be positioned to do that. It's ok if you struggle. But know that, there's a light at the end of the tunnel. You need to stay patient, get help, and keep moving forward.

Usually, when a challenge comes your way, it can teach you something potent about life and yourself. By remaining patient and calm, you add mental and emotional muscles. Those muscles can help you in furthering your life's journey.

The Other Side of the Coin

Another young man named Din had a different trajectory. In school, he used to get bullied. Academically, he struggled extensively including failing one course. In his personal life, he experienced multiple heartbreaks.

Even after graduation, he had to search for months before he could secure a role. He was even once laid off and remained unemployed for over a year.

Any of these would make someone reconsider their approach and stop. But Din didn't stop. He kept on pushing his boundaries. He took the opportunities that were ignored by his more successful peers. He realized that many of those opportunities are stepping stones to something better. Din's realization helped him open doors with those opportunities.

With time, he built a strong career in his industry — moving into a senior role & working in 5 different countries. At the same time, he met the love of his life and settled with her.

Is Din's story a story of a happy ending? It's too early to tell. And even Din knows life will throw him more curveballs. But with his never say die attitude, he knows he'll tackle them when they'll come.

To Summarize — Don't Hide From Challenges, They're Inevitable

Every bad experience will make you a better person, only if you are patient, persistent, and consistent.

Every struggle will make you stronger for tomorrow.

You must accept that failures, challenges, heartbreaks, etc. will come. In fact, you can bring them on to you by experimenting with new experiences. By doing that, you'll be able to handle those challenges sooner.

And in the end, you'll be the one to benefit from the experience.

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