Sitting down in front of a computer screen and being able to write whatever you want is both liberating and terrifying. Many times when I do, I'm plagued with questions of self-doubt.

What if I don't have any ideas? What if my ideas suck?

I'll say I'm not motivated or inspired, and I'll pack up the computer to try again another day. But when it comes down to it, the real reason I'm avoiding the computer is because I'm scared. I'm scared that I'll write something and it'll be terrible. I'm scared it won't be what I want, or it won't be good enough.

What if my words don't resonate with others? What if my reader doesn't care? What if I'm not as good of a writer as I think I am?

What if my creation is crap? Does that mean that *I'm* crap?

The Creative Process

Lately, I've been feeling like crap about my work. But an idea from organizational psychologist, professor, and author Adam Grant put a whole new perspective on the creative process for me.

This is how he outlines each stage in the cycle:

1. This is awesome 2. This is tricky 3. This is crap 4. I am crap 5. This might be okay 6. This is awesome

I've leveraged this quote to make me a better writer and a better creative. It helps me to get through the downturns and tough times that go along with being a creator. It reminds me that something awesome can come from all of my hard work and dedication — if I don't give up.

Let's look a closer look at each stage.

1. This is awesome

You're a creative genius! A visionary! You've just come up with the next great idea. The adrenaline is flowing, your mind is abuzz with fresh perspectives and you're ready to tackle your next awesome project.

You can sit down for hours and lose yourself in the work — your mind and your project become one. You make sure you get every detail down on paper as quickly as you can before the inspiration flies out of your head.

I think of this stage as the "honeymoon phase" with your new idea. It might last for a while, but eventually, you'll come to some bumps in the road and things won't be as sweet.

2. This is tricky

Inevitably, you'll run into issues with your bright and shiny new idea. The words won't flow. Things aren't fitting together the way you want them to. Things don't look right or have a wonky shape. Your initial excitement might start to wane, your enthusiasm dulled. Eventually, if you let yourself, you'll sink into the third stage.

3. This is crap

You become increasingly frustrated with your lack of progress. You feel like you're spinning your wheels, writing and re-writing the same passage, or staring at a blank computer screen, willing the words to come but they just won't. You're beginning to enter "the crappy loop" — where you bounce back and forth between hating your project and hating yourself.

The once brilliant idea has now devolved into worse than the baser ideas from the dunce caps in the corner. It's crap. It's a terrible idea. It'll never work. It's no good. It's not creative. It's unoriginal. It's crap.

4. I am crap

And, since we're the ones who came up with the idea, then we must be crap too. We'll simmer in our foul moods and morose outlook for a while — if you're me, you spend a long time in the crappy loop.

We might even set down the pens or paint brushes for a while and walk away from the project — maybe even abandon it entirely. It'll take a solid shove before we take on any more projects or pick up our tools of the trade again.

But try as we might to forget about the crappy project, it still tugs at our memory and pulls at our heartstrings. Maybe it wasn't such a bad idea after all…maybe we can make it work…

5. This might be okay

All hope is not lost yet. Maybe it might be okay.

At this point, we've given our project a second chance and gotten ourselves out of the crappy loop. We can almost see the light ahead, just around the corner. Our time away from the project — or our time spent hating ourselves — gave us the chance to clear our heads and get some distance from it.

Looking at it with fresh eyes, we can see solutions to the problems we drowned in before. We can see more clearly how the pieces fit together, or how to weave the story. Things are coming together. Things are looking up.

6. This is awesome

After much self-loathing and painstaking effort, visiting and re-visiting the project — we've finally arrived at the end. We've trudged through the crappy loop and now here is our reward — our awesome idea, polished, tested, tried, and true.

And much better than it was when we started.

How to get out of the "crappy loop"

I get stuck in a loop between the "this is crap" and "I am crap." As any writer or creative will undoubtedly understand, it's easy to get stuck in a mindset of self-loathing. We wear it like armor.

In order to break the paralyzing cycle, I have to sit down and force myself to write something new in my novel. Even if I don't want to. Even if I'm dreading it. Even if I don't really have that concrete of an idea.

If I give my characters the chance, they'll tell me the story. I just have to listen to them. I have to let them drive. Sometimes, it turns out to be crap. But sometimes, it might be okay. And from there, it can become awesome.

But you have to start somewhere. You can't make something out of nothing — and you certainly can't make "nothing" awesome. You need a starting point first. So even if it's not your best work, just do something. You can fix it later.

Nothing awesome ever started out that way

Very few times is writing, or any creative project, "awesome" right off the bat. I would venture to say that this is largely never the case. Even J.K. Rowling has an editor.

Whenever we start a new project, we think it's "awesome" because we're so excited about the idea. But then we hit a roadblock. Or the ideas don't line up. Or things get harder. Then we get discouraged.

But don't be like me and trap yourself between the two stages of crappiness. Every creative endeavor will inevitably make you feel like crap at some point. As its creator, that is your burden. A half-finished project is never going to look as good as the final product. Remember: Awesome things are allowed to look messy while you're making them.

Don't judge your own process too harshly. Just focus on creating the best work that you can — and believe that it's not crap. And even if it starts out as crap, or looks like crap along the way — that's okay. It just means that you're not finished yet.

But if there's anything I take heart in from Grant's quote, it's that there is a light at the end of the crappy tunnel — if you just keep going.

Get through the crappy loop and your idea will once again resume its awesomeness — except this time, it'll be truly awesome. Because you put in the work to make it awesome. Because you looked at it from every angle and poked and prodded it and tested it in the fires of outsider's opinions, and it survived — and it evolved into the awesome finished product you have now.

Trust in your own abilities

Trust yourself and your process. You've made great things before. So trust that when you sit down with your project and devote the time to it — and take care of yourself and cut yourself some slack — awesome things will come from you.

It might not happen right away, but that's why they call it the creative process, not the creative immaculate conception — because it's a process, and processes take time, effort, and revisions.

So don't be so hard on yourself — you're not crap, and your creations aren't crap either. Like Grant says, it's all just part of the creative process.