Last days at Ontree were about being together, long hours of talks, sitting by the fire, and sharing what is now alive in us. Maria Rita and Jacopo came to the land to renovate the sleepout. Sanne stayed with us and the land for three days. Fiona visited us and helped with pruning the trees.

What was alive in the space was — what is really the next step for Ontree? Is it about building, settling down on the land, and executing the first steps of the village design? Many of us had doubts about it. It felt too fast. We have distilled Ontree into four phases: 1 — meeting each other, forming the group; 2 — living together; 3 — growing the village; and 4 — creating a training center. I realized that I wanted to jump straight from phase 1 to phase 3 and, as we have the land, I wanted to make the village bigger, create more physical structures for others and for our gameworlds. I am glad that now I feel my sadness, that I want to be together first, without planning what's next. I want to spend time deepening our relationships, going through the liquid state of discovering where I still separate myself and to some degree, recreate my old modern cultural life. I have a deep longing to unfold and invent what it really looks like to live together, to be a team where we are all different, and we can disagree with each other but still love and support one another as we move together. That's the foundation for me of any direction that Ontree will take. Ontree is also not only about people; it is also about the land and our relationship with it. Our land is beautiful and challenging. It is on a slope, it has a lot of water, and it is mainly bush. It requires time to get to know it through different seasons, to see what is possible, what it wants, and how we can collaborate so that it works for us and for the land. I began to spend more conscious time with the land to build intimacy with it, and I want to go slowly, with respect, listening, having conversations, and being in connection with it.

All these conversations led to the decision to pause the construction work of the new buildings and to create the minimum space so that we can live together and start from that. What will this phase be about? I don't know, but I feel such spaciousness with this decision that I trust the archetypal forces are in play with that turn.

17 of July 2025

I am sitting at the lounge, next to the fire, where soon we will start our household connection meeting that we have every Thursday evening. It was the first sunny day after a lot of rain and I enjoyed being outside a lot. Today was mine and Wojciech's turn to be with children as we are exchanging the spaceholding with Hannah and Eliot. The relationship of Mia, Leo and Evelyn is getting more established, and they invent more and more new games and plays. I experience that the more kids, the less toys needed.

I am self-observing myself a lot in the last weeks and I put my attention to where I put my attention. For example I can put my attention on what is the dynamic in the children that is not empowering one of them, what children do to create a mess or I can put my attention on the quality I want to tune into in myself that I am missing in the space. If I am the spaceholder for children and I am choosing to be present, relaxed and clear, most likely this is what will happen in the kids space. So I was experimenting today with holding space without verbal interactions. I was in the trampoline with them. They were giving me a lot of ideas of play they want to have with me. I followed. Then there was the next play they proposed, and next play. All about jumping and chasing. Kids can do it for hours. I definitely not. I noticed that after some time I was doing that and not really wanting to do it anymore, giving my center to them. I sat down on the trampoline and I choose to do nothing, just be with them in presence. I was surprised that they just stopped to ask my for the next play. They were playing with themselves, not entering my space, not even bouncing on me (which is unusual).

Another day I was with Mia and Evelyn (they both are 3 years old). They had a conflict. I was sitting next to them and I decided to not say anything. I was observing them, what they do, what they feel, how they react. They started to scream at some point to each other "Yes!", "No!", "Yes!", "No!", bringing their angry faces close to each other, finally touching with the forehead and keep screaming "Yes!", "No!", "Yes!", "No!". I coudl felt how intense it was for them and after some seconds they burst with laugh and started chasing each other, hugging and hoding hands. Since then they were playing on them own and they really enjoyed their company. They even didn't want me to be with them.

I feel glad and inspired to keep holding the space energetically, not giving much proposals (as long as it is safe and they don't hurt each other) as the results is so empowering. Kids have their natural wisdom (that may be not conscious at this stage) and they know what they need to release. They natural will is to connect with each other and they will always find a way to do it.

Wojciech just said "It is 7.32, are you ready to meet". I end here for today and join the household meeting.