I grew up in a suburb near Watchung, New Jersey (near the woods), and also lived in Harlem, NYC for years and I've never seen bugs like the ones that show up unannounced in my home and classroom in Washington, DC.
I have full respect for bugs when they're outside.
- I purchase expensive environmentally safe bug spray from Whole Foods.
- When walking in Rock Creek, I don't gasp or disturb the spiders and millipedes. I just keep it moving.
- When a little bug invades my classroom space or a bee buzzes near my students, I remind them to stay calm. I allow for one brave small person to remove the small creature and deposit said-creature outside, to where it belongs.
When I'm in nature or in a crowd, I seem sane… when it comes to bugs.
New Diagnosis
However, I recently became fully aware of how insane I am when it comes to bugs with 1.8 gazillion legs aka centipedes, gnats, and spiders.
Injuries from Bugs…
Crawly Things
Since 2021… I've been bitten twice by spiders (once in a hotel room) which required two separate trips to Urgent Care because of giant bruises and welts that spread across my leg (experience one) and chest (experience two).
Flying Things
In August of 2023, I had a gnat fly into my eyeball while walking my dog and it scratched my cornea. I had to wear glasses for a week.
I try to prevent them…
Despite quarterly visits from the pest control company, as a preventative measure, rude and large creepy crawly centipedes invade my home with the audacity of knowing full and well they don't have money to contribute to my mortgage.
One time, a centipede was ridiculously hanging from my ceiling fan "chain" ABOVE my BED! Fortunately for me, my neighbor was home and removed the intruder before it could fall onto my bed and cause me sleepless nights, anxiety, and overall neverending heebeeeeegeebees.
Reality Check
I probably see a centipede in my home three to four times a year. Yes, I live near a wooded area. Additionally DC is humid and humidity attracts centipedes-shmentapedes… Sometimes, I'll find a dead centipede who probably starved to death because they came into the wrong house that didn't have enough food for them!
However, their presence (centipedes) is offensive dead or alive!
I'm also aware that October — November is gnat time in DC and there's nothing one can do to stop them.
They're just… well… everywhere. And they come for your eyes!
About me… I'm a neat freak. My home is clean — I clean, I hire cleaners regularly, and aside from the wandering centipede and gnats that are attracted to my garbage disposal, I don't have a pest issue.
However, I do live in a condo… so there's that.
Eureka!
I'm smart. Something occurred to me that there must be a solution for this problem that goes beyond preventative measures. I needed to improve my defensive game and find weaponry to protect my sanity. Additionally, relying on others to remove offensive crawlies is just not an adequate solution.
I now have bug weapons. I feel so prepared, hopefully, they work when it's time to fight off the invaders.
I'm the proud owner of a zappy blue light sticky trap to spare me from the garbage disposal gnats!
I have the most ridiculous but anxiety-soothing blue light tennis racket with an EXTENDER to zap bugs dead. Since buying it, I have not seen any invaders but I'm prepared for when they show up. I desperately hope it works on centipedes.
I cannot be tortured by being forced to get into 3 feet of a centipede and thus required a bug vacuum sucker with tremendous force. I don't want to have to pick up a zapped bug with a tissue… UGH. Been there, not doing it again.
After two bug vacuum purchases, I decided that a traditional hand vacuum would be most appropriate for my particular phobia. And it's presently charging and waiting for an opportunity to strike.
Did I mention that DC centipede nasties are like 3–6 inches long?
Thanks for making it to this point with me. Let me know if you decide to buy some offensive crawly weaponry. I did begin this by stating that I have an irrational fear… I know that house centipedes kill other bugs… but I don't care — I hate them and they look like something out of the Matrix.
But if you chuckled at my expense… you're welcome. I normally write about education but I figured why not share my silly-side every now and again. The fear though — the fear is real.
Thanks for reading!
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