According to research, it could take 4.18 years to heal from heart break, if you have an anxious attachment.

Trauma from heartbreak, emotional, verbal, mental, and physical abuse alters brain structure and function, as shown in neuroimaging studies. These changes involve heightened stress responses, impaired emotional regulation, imagination and memory disruption. Read till the end to see major parts of the brain affected

Now, maybe there's some counter-research that reduces these effects but we cannot dispute the experience we have with traumatic events. You instantly feel the difference in your subconscious, in your thoughts and reactions.

From childhood trauma to adulthood heartbreaks and more… We do not remain the same. I want to talk to you about the invisible wounds, the wounds we actually never heal from because they change how we live life.

Unfortunately, we are unable to give these wounds the care they need because we can't see them, we can't measure progress to know if they are healing or getting worse. These wounds are like burdens we carry with us, present in the little and big things, we get so accustomed to their presence that they become second nature and we forget what life was before they were present.

For something so significant, often spurring us to change our entire outlook on life and people, our goals and imagination. No one really tells you how to deal with them.

How do you deal with emotional abuse over a long period of time, when you didn't even realize that you were being abused? Now, you have the trauma, the fear, the PTSD and your life doesn't even feel like yours. Some experts say surviving heartbreak is like surviving an addiction, you go through withdrawal, the physical pain and heartache all from an emotional episode. The gaping emptiness and the numbness.

I honestly find it fascinating, but it's only fair that if love can give such a high then the opposite just has to be just as shattering.

My point is, parts of us die due to pain and trauma. Even if it heals, even if you try to fix it, even if it regenerates, something still dies and you are never the same.

I have no words of advice or solution. I guess, I'll indulge you to be more conscious of the changes you make due to emotional trauma.

Maybe you should be intentional that the people who have caused you pain wouldn't have control over you even in their absence. They don't think about you, they are living life freely.

Maybe the resolve would be to be selfish and to try to live life just as you freely did before you met them but it's impossible so, I will say, do your best, learn from mistakes, live life on your terms not based on your pain and find your joy.

Key Brain Regions Affected by trauma

• Amygdala: Enlarges by up to 15% in trauma survivors, boosting fear responses and emotional reactivity.
• Hippocampus: Shrinks by 8–12%, hindering memory consolidation and leading to fragmented recall of events.
• Prefrontal Cortex: Thins with reduced activity (up to 20%), weakening decision-making, impulse control, and problem-solving.

If you have some comments or insights, I would love to read your thoughts, thank you for reading.