Scared to approach beautiful women? I've got you covered. Here you'll find several techniques that will make your approach anxiety a thing of the past. Incorporate all of them, and you'll have zero problems walking up to beautiful women whenever the hell you find them.

Are you ready?

Here comes the pain!

Talk yourself up beforehand so you feel like a warrior

Suppose you're in a club around looking for women to talk to and berating yourself for being a loser. In that case, you won't suddenly be confident when you say hello. Instead, you need to talk yourself up. Seriously, pump yourself up like you're an absolute king and that those women will be lucky to have you grace them with your presence.

The simple fact is that if you think you're a prize, you'll have the confidence to approach, and if you think you're a loser, you won't. With this in mind, make sure your thoughts and body language are on par with those of the alpha male you want her to think you are.

Stand tall and powerfully walk with confidence.

Talk yourself up afterwards too

You need to realise that the moment you walk over and say hello, you win. Irrespective of the outcome. Regardless of whether or not she wants to talk to you or not, you won by having the balls to do that scary thing.

So, this means that as long as you actually approach, you can't lose. It means that you're absolutely brilliant at doing it no matter what.

Did you approach? Yes? Great. 10 out of 10.

Start small and ease yourself into it

If you're terrified of approaching women, it makes no sense to dive in at the deep end and try to get their numbers. Ease yourself in it by doing small things.

For instance, you might:

• Ask for the time
• Ask for directions
• Compliment her outfit

And so on. Essentially, if you have severe approach anxiety and don't know how to walk up to strangers, this is where you want to start. Build a habit and train your brain to think approaching strangers is something natural by constantly approaching in these little innocent and harmless ways.

Once you get comfortable doing that, you can graduate to more direct approaches.

Get into the habit of talking to strangers

One reason you have approach anxiety is that you've made it out to be a big thing in your head, and that's partially because you're just not used to talking to strangers.

So change that.

Get into the habit of saying hello to the cashier at Starbucks, the barman at your local club, or the old lady who lives on your road. The more you can make a habit of talking to human beings in general, the easier it'll be for you to talk to women you're attracted to.

Have fun with it

Here's something that'll drag you out of your shell and into the present moment. Walk down the street for 15 minutes and literally high-five every person you pass. That's it. Mosey on down and stick out your hand to high-five every single freaking person who crosses your path. I guarantee your approach anxiety will be ripped to pieces by the time you're done. I've done this myself and it's liberating, to say the least.

Get over yourself

You need to realise that she just doesn't know you and nothing she says is personal. For instance, does she know about your hopes and dreams? Does she know how much you love your mum? Does she know about your plans for the future? She doesn't know anything. She has had a look at you and taken a mental snapshot, and it's this snapshot that she's rejected.

Another thing to remember is that if you have 10 women, they are all likely to reject you for very different reasons. Some will be married, some will be lesbians, some will hate men, some will have gone through painful breakups that they don't know how to handle, et cetera. There are tons of reasons why a woman might choose to say no.

Think of it like this. I love Bill Burr. He's my favourite comedian of all time. However, Kevin Hart is just as big and famous as Bill Burr, but I don't like his comedy at all. I don't find it funny. I like Kevin Hart as a person, but as a comedian, he doesn't do it for me.

Kevin Hart and Bill Burr are equal in terms of fame and stature. However, some people like one and not the other. You should be aware that you're not going to be every woman's glass of vodka, and that's okay. It's more than okay. Just be aware that you need to see through women who don't want you to find those who do.

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Treat approaching women like playing a videogame

I'm sure you were wondering when I'd get to this, weren't you? Well in any event I mean it too. I'm not joking or being coy when I say that. Let me explain what I mean. When you play a video game, you most likely don't take it seriously.

You play Mario and run over a gap which Mario falls into and dies as a result. What's just happened? Well, you've failed. You tried to do something and fucked up, but you don't think it's a big deal. You reload the game and start again. However, we take things much more seriously when it comes to women. So, if you approach a woman and she doesn't want to know you, you get upset.

Honestly, see it as a video game. You're out there working on your skills and meeting women, and when a woman doesn't like you, see it as Mario falling down the hole and keep on playing.

Could you give her a million dollars?

So part of why you have approach anxiety is that you don't think you have any value. You assume that the woman is above you, that you are beneath her, and that she won't want you to approach her. But that is not the way to look at it.

Look at it like this, if I gave you $15 million, and told you to speak to a woman, then give her the $15 million. Would you be scared of speaking to her? Obviously not. Why? Because you know that you're giving her value. You need to realise that you're giving value when approaching a woman. You're giving her the gift of you.

Tell yourself that you have value. Tell yourself that you're going to make her day better, not worse.

Take a look deep inside

Do you want to know what causes a lot of men's approach anxiety? It's the fact that they believe there are things about themselves that don't stack up. For instance, if you have fears and insecurities that you think deep down mean you're just not good enough. Are you insecure about your looks? Clothes? Money? Where do you live? Or something else?

To overcome your approach anxiety, a great thing to do would be to look at what you don't like about yourself and heal it. If you can't heal it, come to terms with it.

Your insecurities about yourself come to the forefront when you're in front of a beautiful woman. If you can find and resolve them in your downtime, your approach anxiety will fade.

Obey the 5-second rule

First things first (I Poppa, freakz all da honeyz), I'm not talking about the cultural myth that says it's all good to pick up a dropped cheeseburger as long as you do so within 5 seconds! I'm talking about the psychological principle, which says you can't wait any longer than 5 seconds before doing something intimidating. I first heard about it by reading the book called The 5 Second Rule, and while I highly recommend you read it yourself, its message pretty much boils down to the fact that:

Suppose you wait any longer than 5 seconds before doing something scary. In that case, self-doubt will assault your nervous system and turn you into a spineless pussy.

Let's say you're walking down the street and lay eyes on some lovely lady. The longer you spend meditating and deliberating whether or not to say anything is more time you'll spend talking yourself out of it. The key is to just dive in and say hey before you have a chance to bitch out.

It really is that simple.

5 seconds is the magic length of time it takes for your brain's subconscious programming to kick in and tell you all the dumb reasons why you shouldn't talk to that hottie at the bar or ask your boss for that raise. My black ass is gonna explain why that happens right now. You see, it's natural for you to hesitate when you're in a situation that intimidates you. When that happens, your brain (whose sole purpose is only to keep you alive and nothing more) says to itself:

"Woah, woah, woah. Back the truck up. Why on earth is he hesitating now? He didn't hesitate when he brushed his teeth or said goodbye to his mom. He didn't hesitate when he walked down the stairs this morning, put on his shoes, or said hey to his best friend.

If he hesitates now, there must be something inherently dangerous about this situation. I better get to work and come up with ideas of what those things might be so that he doesn't risk damaging himself."

That's literally what your brain does when you hesitate out of fear. It searches its memory banks to come up with justifications to validate said fear and show them so you know what you might be getting yourself into.

However, this is great when we're talking about things that genuinely can hurt you like being mauled by a wild animal, but detrimental when talking about social fears that carry no tangible downside. Like seriously, what the hell could possibly happen to you in that situation on the train with that woman?

Don't let fear make you its bitch

The worst-case scenario is that she makes a scene and embarrasses you, but how many women will be brave/cunty enough to do that to a respectful man who's just starting a conversation? And even in the highly unlikely event that she does, you get off the train at your stop and go on with your life. It's not that big of a deal. And who knows? Maybe she thinks you're awesome and will become your next girlfriend?

Maybe in 3 years, she'll be gripping your hand so tightly she cuts off the blood flow and screaming blue murder while squeezing out your firstborn? It's more likely to happen than her screaming the train down and having every man in the vicinity beat the faeces out of you because you had the audacity to say hello.

In any event, these justifications our brains make (like, maybe she'll slap me, and everyone will laugh) end up doubling and tripling the fear we already feel until we're so scared we can barely think straight. Like I just said, your brain's job is to keep you alive and nothing more. It really doesn't give much of a crap about your damn happiness. It cares only about keeping you alive. That's it.

On a slight tangent, what's interesting is that for most of human history, we lived in small tribes of about 120 people where social exclusion meant being cast out of the group to survive on our own, i.e. certain death. The concept of being rejected by someone we'll never see ever again is a recent addition to the human experience that our brains haven't evolved to deal with yet.

So, when given a choice between something pleasurable, like getting to know a new woman, or something painful, like having her boyfriend leap out of the nearest bush and left hook you square in the jaw, your brain will usually take the option that leads to the least possible pain, not the greatest possible pleasure.

But; if you act immediately if you see that pretty woman ("walking down the street") and march right over, then your brain won't have a chance to tell you why it's a bad thing to do. Hell, your brain won't even be interested in talking you out of it because it won't think it has any good reason to.

It'll have just as little reason to talk you out of approaching that blonde in the daisy dukes as it did to stop you from hugging your mom goodbye the last time you saw her. It'll assume that whoever you're doing is completely normal and will leave you free, calm, confident, and present.

So what this basically means is that if you act immediately on your impulses rather than sit, stew, ruminate and deliberate like a clown (like I used to), then you'll never be plagued with that crippling fear that we all know and loathe.

Think it sounds like bs? Too good to be true? Try it out and prove me wrong.

Chaos is a ladder.

Excelsior.

Ciaran

Got value from this? Follow me on Medium and get my free ebook 12 Secrets About Attracting Women Society Won't Tell You.