SELF HELP-ISH

If you haven't already scraped this bit of "news" off your shoe, here you go.

"I never claimed to be Jewish," Santos told the Post. "I am Catholic. Because I learned my maternal family had a Jewish background, I said I was 'Jew-ish.'"

Apparently it's politically expedient to be Jew-ish. Who knew?

But, how about all these "-ish's" that I've got?

Here's how I'm putting them all to work for me.

Dig deep. You can do the same. Think of the benefits that'll be coming your way in the new year.

White-ish

Like a lot of people, I'm actually kind of blotchy and beige. But with my new "-ish" program for self benefit I'm white-ish as the driven snow.

What does this mean and how can being "white-ish" help me?

  • I'll be able to effortlessly sneak up on people in snowstorms (I'm working out the details on why this would be a good thing.)
  • I'll be first in line to star in the remake of the blockbuster hit "Casper the Friendly Ghost", scheduled to start shooting in 2023
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I'm the pale dude on the far right (wait, that came out all wrong) 😬 Photo by Amir on Unsplash
  • If I fall overboard while on a cruise I'll be super easy to spot.

Tall-ish

NBA Summer League, here I come.

On my best day I can't dunk a ping-pong ball into a garbage disposal, but that's not gonna stop me.

Soon — as a tall-ish mofo — I'll be taking AD's spot on the Lakers.

I can already taste the sweetness of those endorsement dollars rolling in.

Musical-ish

Cats run howling from a 15-block radius when I launch into "O Sole Mio" in the shower, but I've already secured a recording contract.

Taylor Swift … you'd better watch your ass. I'll be the one filling the arenas soon, and you'll be opening for me, if you're lucky.

Handsome-ish

In the land of the blind, the one-eyed man is king.

Showered and shaved, fully-caffeinated, wide awake, with the wind at my back, and going downhill at top speed with training wheels, I'm a 5 on a 10 scale.

BUT!

Have I let that hurt my modeling career?

Hell no!

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I'm ready for my close up 😬 Photo by Bobby Mc Leod on Unsplash

Funny-ish

For a variety of reasons, no one is going to confuse me with Dave Chappelle. For one thing, I don't smoke.

But, my comedy career is taking off like a North Korean ICBM test firing.

Curly, Larry and Moe … you'd better watch yourselves. I'm closing fast.

Bottom line: With just a little "ish" you can be whatever you want to be. And, we're just scratching the surface here. Imagine how far we'll all get with "esque", "oid", and "like"?