I almost didn't hear what he said as I entered the oldest cave in the world.

"You can take a photo if you want." He repeated.

"Oh, we didn't bring our phones. We just want to enjoy the experience." I replied without looking. I heard my girlfriend mumble something similar a few feet away. We were both so lost in the beauty of this ancient chamber that we couldn't look away.

He smiled.

"You're the only people who have ever said that to me. I've been doing this job every day for the last five years. This is new. This is exciting."

The next five hours were epic. We were in the oldest cave in the world, ducking and diving through tiny cracks and crevices on our way to a "crystal chamber" — an ancient pocket underground that has been turning rocks and water into beautiful crystals for millions of years.

Unbeknownst to us, our guide had picked up a crystal inside the chamber and gave it to us as a gift on the way out. My girlfriend and I were torn as we never take anything away from natural spaces, as that's where they belong. But this was different.

"Because you don't have any photos, you can take a bit of the cave home with you." He said, beaming from ear to ear.

We looked at each other with a how can we not accept it kind of look. Today, that ancient crystal, formed millions of years ago, sits proudly on our altar in the centre of our meditation room.

I smile every time I see it.

Turning rocks into crystals is beautiful, but painful

Underground, rocks melt into a thick liquid called magma. When magma cools down slowly, tiny bits inside it (like atoms, minerals, and carbon) have time to line up neatly. They are then squeezed and packed so tightly together from the weight of the Earth above that big, shiny crystals such as quartz and diamonds form.

Crystals need time, heat, and enormous amounts of pressure. Nothing happens if one of these three things is missing. Too much heat, and there's only magma. Too little pressure, and there's only rock. Not enough time, and there's only speculation.

I like to think about my own growth in a similar way. During the times when I've grown the most, I've also needed time, some form of motivation (heat), and some form of pressure or challenge.

I don't imagine rocks underground feel too kindly about being heated and crammed together so tightly they can't breathe. But just when the pressure gets too intense, they transform. That's what happened to me, too. Just when I thought I couldn't take any more, I had a breakthrough.

Rocks might view heat and pressure as uncomfortable, but once they've transformed, they probably understand how necessary they were for growth. Similarly, challenges and failures in life are often needed to grow and succeed, even though they might be uncomfortable and painful.

The one thing I see a lot of people getting wrong

If rocks that were soon-to-be crystals took the whole process of transformation personally, they might rebel or feel wronged. But they accept their fate. They go with it, and ultimately, they come out the other side stronger.

I compare other humans to bringing the heat and pressure in life. We are transformative tools for one another, except we often choose to see each other as the problem.

Someone honks their horn in traffic, and anger arises. Someone doesn't say thank you when a door is held open for them, and they're deemed to be rude. Someone doesn't reply to an email quick enough, and they're considered thoughtless.

We take things personally.

Judgemental thoughts quickly flood the mind. Judgements and fears start to arise. And oftentimes, these thoughts, judgements, and fears spill over into angry words and/or actions.

But what if other people were just applying heat or pressure to help us crystallise? What if we used each other to learn about our coping mechanisms, behavioural patterns, and triggers?

What if we recognised that we need one another to grow?

This is something Carl Jung knew all too well. That's why he said: "Everything that irritates us about others can lead us to an understanding of ourselves."

I can't help but think about the rocks that are soon-to-be crystals here.

I can only speculate, but I can imagine that receiving that much heat and pressure must be irritating. It must be claustrophobic. But maybe in that irritation and claustrophobia, they see an opportunity to learn why they feel irritated and trapped.

That's the gift of looking within when these kind of events happen in life. It stops the blame game. It breeds curiosity, and with that, insight and growth.

In order to do that, however, we mustn't take things so personally. We must keep an open mind. We must "allow people to have their moods, and allow those moods to have nothing to do with you," as Liana Naimaso so brilliantly put it.

Then we can use one another to grow. We can push each other to become crystals over time. And we can shine brighter as a result.

A practical way to apply this in daily life

A practice tool I love and cherish is one called the Practice of 50/50.

It works on the principle that both our internal experience and our external environment are of equal importance because both combine to make up our perception of reality.

Our external environment might involve a conversation with a friend or a task at work. Our internal experience might involve observing an emotion, sensation, or thought that's arising in the body. Focusing on the rhythm of the breath also works.

Whatever it might be, the goal is to keep 50% of our awareness on both worlds simultaneously.

This takes the heat and pressure of the world and transforms it internally. It allows for in-the-moment self-reflection, contemplation, and regulation, and that begins the crystallising process.

If 50/50 feels too much, try 70/30 instead. Even 80/20 or 90/10 works well. As long as some of your awareness remains on both worlds at the same time, the precise ratio doesn't matter. What matters is to remember that a lot of life is created within, so staying anchored to what's going on inside makes the outside world feel a bit more fun and curious.

And who doesn't want to have a bit more fun in life?