Sex/Relationships
I still have the image burned into my mind. My lover sitting beside my bed with my vibrator strategically placed on the table next to him.
"What is this?" He demanded, with all the accusatory tones of a person who had just discovered a horrific crime.
I stood there, stunned. Apparently, he had come across my vibrator inside my apartment.
It was definitely a weird and unexpected moment to walk in on after coming home from work, but it was also strangely amusing. I actually had to fight the impulse to laugh, initially.
But he was NOT in a joking mood. He was dead serious. The offending vibrator was obviously on trial — and so was I.
"Um, that's mine," I said.
There was no way he didn't know what it was — not with his vast sexual experience. It just wasn't possible. This man had engaged in countless love affairs before me and was — at least from my experience with him — a bonified sex maniac. How could he not know about vibrators?
"So, I don't satisfy you?" He asked, apparently hurt.
I struggled to suppress my grin. This was silly.
I had been pleasuring myself since my preteen years and using vibrators was not only normal behavior for me but also something I had done even while dating, in relationships, or while married. Quite often, my partners and I used vibrators together, as well.
"Look, I use that for myself. It has nothing to do with you. You totally satisfy me when we have sex — you know that." I offered, which was the truth.
My lover seemed to contemplate this statement for a minute but still had the look of a child whose dog had just died.
It seemed that he had little experience with sex toys even though he was an experienced lover. He was a fantastic lover, in fact.
I realized through this experience that for all of the exciting sex we had together — he was an amateur when it came to sex toys. He wasn't open to the idea at all, initially.
It was like he viewed my vibrator as the enemy. The battery-powered adversary threatened to oust his orgasm-giving power with me.
It was bewildering for me to see a man so insecure and jealous about my vibrator but — as I would later discover — his jealousies and insecurities were a major problem.
I was actually quite concerned that my lover wouldn't recover from finding out that I used a vibrator — until he surprised me one night.
It was my birthday. He was over. When we started having sex — he suddenly whipped out my vibrator.
Needless to say, it was a very satisfying encounter — I thoroughly enjoyed the experience and I think my lover also found significant pleasure in incorporating a sex toy. We would go on to use it every once in a while whenever we felt the urge to.
What was supremely thought-provoking to me about this whole vibrator episode — besides the fact that maybe certain people shouldn't have been trusted with my apartment key — was realizing how this highly experienced man who was of a certain age and who possessed a substantially long list of lovers had a real fear and ignorance regarding battery-operated sex toys.
Not only that, but with the number of women he had been with, it seemed that none of them had or used a vibrator — at least that he knew about. Weird. Ultimately and unsurprisingly, the relationship became toxic and ended.
I still wonder if there are other men out there who are intimidated by or inexperienced with women using sex toys either to pleasure themselves or to use during sex.
Thought? Comments? Feel free to express yourself.