If that sounds strange to you, then you are a very healthy, normal human being that does what is best for them, which basically means that you do not purposefully try to get yourself hurt.

Yet, that is exactly wherein the problem lies: It is too reasonable.

Everyone experiences hardships, regret, and mistakes at some point in their lives; you are no exception to that.

You made choices that did not turn out well, and likely regret having made those choices, because they caused you a certain amount of pain in the long run.

Maybe you went too openly into a relationship that caused a lot of heartache, or maybe you missed an opportunity because you were too afraid you were going to lose something.

Either way, you made a wrong choice.

But, if you're honest about it, it wasn't really that bad, right?

Going into a relationship with everything you have is a good thing, and you shouldn't take every opportunity that comes your way, especially not those that have a potential negative.

Besides, what is done is done, and you didn't know any better at the moment.

You could not foresee what would happen, did the best you could, and the choice you made, while maybe not ideal, was not a "bad" choice per se.

If you agree with that, then that is exactly why you keep making the same mistakes. You are not allowing yourself to be hurt by the mistakes that you made.

A mistake is a mistake. Period.

No one else has to classify it as such, and it doesn't objectively have to be one, but as long as you think it did not lead you down the path you wanted, then it was a mistake for you.

However, instead of taking in the lesson of your mistake you tend to minimize the impact of it to avoid the pain.

Even with choices that had truly terrible consequences, you likely still minimize the impact of them in an attempt to deal with the pain of those choices.

But that is why it is not truly lodged in your mind, why you almost never truly learn, and why the mistakes keep coming back in different forms.

You are conditioning yourself to make the same mistakes over and over again instead of allowing yourself the room to feel so awful that you would never repeat them going forward.

This is also the reason that the concept of "life-changing moments" even exists.

Because we avoid all moments that are not so bad they cannot be ignored we do not learn unless we encounter such moments.

It is why the people that really reach success, and those that push beyond most reason, are the ones that came out of truly awful experiences that they were forced to deal with.

Because they accepted that pain, because they faced those horrible experiences, they changed their lives.

They grew enough to not repeat the same mistake because it was too much to bear to even risk making those mistakes again, or getting anywhere close to them.

The lament person does not believe they need to do this, for for them, life is not that bad and they do not encounter situations to that degree, so why would they deal with those mistakes?

After all, why would anyone purposefully experience pain?

If you and I can avoid pain by ignoring a negative, or masking it with distractions, if we can feel better instead of worse, why wouldn't we?

Look around your friends and you can see whether you are someone that avoids the pain of a mistake or accepts it: How many people in your life try to make you feel better vs. how many people in your life push you to face the truth?

How many feel-good friends do you have vs. how many real friends?

Know that this does not mean that anyone repeats the same mistakes on purpose.

No one does something they do not think is worth it, including things they technically know lead to worse consequences.

You try to protect yourself from pain, which is a totally reasonable thing to do.

That being said, you make the decisions you think are best at that current moment in time, given the current set of circumstances.

You make whatever choice you believe gives you what you want, but only what you want in that moment.

When you consume Television, video games or series you are allowing yourself to sit back and relax.

There is no pressure. There is no strain. It's positive reinforcement.

When you then encounter a negative life experience and mask that with any of the beforementioned distractions, that reinforcement is exponentially increased.

Not only are you gaining comfort, relaxation and maybe even joy, you are also removing stress, pain and heartache.

In that moment, being unproductive nets you a lot more than the pain.

The problem is the behavior you reinforce.

You understand that you are training yourself, are reinforcing behavior you do not want anymore, but can hardly stop yourself.

After all, stopping yourself would actually mean embracing a pain you never wanted to feel.

Which brings me to the next problem:

Since you now know what you are doing, the only way to keep turning a blind eye to it is by convincing yourself that not learning the lesson is actually the better thing to do.

As soon as you stop convincing yourself of this, the better option would be to embrace that pain, which would obviously not be fun.

So you justify, make excuses and explain.

You find reasons where there shouldn't be any, and convince yourself that you are doing what is best, even though you know fully well that you are staying in the cycle of procrastination and laziness this way.

For if you truly, truly understood what you were doing to yourself, you would embrace the pain every single time to give yourself a chance to do something different.

You would understand that the pain is a lesson that changes things and, while you may not seek it out, you would embrace it when it comes.

Embracing the heartache of a lost relationship shows you that you loved that person, and that can teach you what you need and want from a relationship going forward.

Embracing the pain of making a mistake shows you that this lead to something you did not want, and will likely push you to take different actions or even create different habits to prevent this in the future or even push for the positive opposite.

And finally embracing that you did not work as hard as you wanted, or that you never truly reached your potential, when you finally take that in you may be able to say "enough is enough" and truly change your life.

The pain of screwing up, of having a broken heart, of admitting to your mistakes or the fact that you are still not living a life up to your potential gives you the drive to improve.

Everything up until then does not justify a change.

And without a strong enough reason to change, why would you?

Why would you risk the life you built for something that did not even hurt?

Know that the only way to get a better life is to feel compelled to make a change, and the only way that can happen is if you are inspired enough to do so or afraid enough not to.

This means that if you want to stop being lazy, if you want to stop wasting time and stop living a half-lived life, you have to be okay with admitting to the pain of your mistakes.

Own your failures.

Acknowledge the things you did not do.

Embrace the fact that you could have done more and every screw up you had.

Accept the heartache of lost relationships, the pain not being who you want to be yet, and the loss of all those futures you did not work towards.

All of that is on you. Feel that.

Feel that pain and then make sure you never have to again by making actual changes.