Love is magical — or at least, what I believed. I thought once I found that guy, everything would fall into place. But after years of dating mishaps, I learned some hard lessons. You can't always be the person you were once you commit to a relationship — adaptability is the key. But sometimes, you learn it the hard way.

Lesson 1: Being Right = Being Wrong

You can call it 'the ego trap.' I always believed winning an argument meant winning in love. And you know what? I was wrong — like really wrong. When every win on paper costs you your relationship, you always lose.

You think being "right" is a badge of honour? No, you push your partner away from yourself. If you need to dominate every debate instead of understanding each other, you'll be left alone, and that too, very soon.

Lesson 2: Options Always Exist (You May Not Know It Yet)

You think you won't find anyone if you lose your partner? Nope — the world is full of choices. Plenty of good, better-fit people exist who won't make you question yourself for sending a slightly-too-long text.

The thing is, don't settle because you're scared. You'd definitely find someone else who won't be willing to win every argument against you. Just look around to see if things aren't working with your partner.

Lesson 3: Having a Passion Helps With Emotional Independence

No one wants to be your everything. Exhausting, right? When you make someone your sun, moon, and everything in between, you give away your power — the power of self-belief.

Get a passion to know what works. Obsess over something you really like. DJ in your bedroom. Make terrible art. You can try a million things, and you will know the world isn't as small as it looks.

Lession 4: Know Yourself and the List That Truly Matters

When I was 22, my list of the "perfect partner" included being tall, reading cool books, having a mysterious past, and having great, long hair. Now? I want someone who's emotionally present, makes real plans, and doesn't run away when things get messy in life.

Let go of the checklist and look for what matters long term. Spotify taste won't hold a relationship together because real life is way more complicated than you think. Be practical enough to face anything.

Lesson 5: Breakups Are Part of the Journey

Relationship breakups may sound like the end. I'd spiral for weeks, blame myself, make weird playlists, and text my ex something cryptic, "Hope you're doing okay." But breaking up isn't always that bad.

Sometimes, a break-up makes absolute sense when things aren't working for you. Relationships aren't graded by how long they last. You measure them by how well you live with your partner.

Lesson 6: Reliability > Chemistry (Every. Single. Time.)

Not chemistry… shared taste in podcasts… or a mutual love for something from childhood. What really makes or breaks things, especially in the long haul, is reliability, which may not make your heart race on the first date, but will show up when it matters most.

When everything is falling apart, will your partner be there? Not just in words, but in action? Will they follow through on what they say? Or will they disappear the moment things get uncomfortable?

Lesson 7: Own Your Mistakes (Without Any "Ifs n Buts")

When you blame others for your own mistakes, you're not protecting yourself — you're holding yourself back. Apologising isn't a sign of weakness. Owning your actions, especially when you mess up, is one of the most powerful things you can do.

The truth is, no one gets through life without making mistakes. What sets people apart is accountability. Saying "I was wrong" or "I could've handled it better" only makes you strong.