NOT WHAT YOU'D EXPECT

def: Animal, as in extremely dedicated to something, eg. party animal

def: Animal, as in behaving wildly, eg. "that guy is such an animal"

Aging is not what I expected.

I'm no longer a young pup, but as I age I've become more and more of an animal. Strange but true.

Here's how, from top to bottom:

👴 Bald Eagle

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Photo by Ruben Zavala on Unsplash

Not quite bald but certainly balding.

And, my "beak" is the same shape and degree of prominence.

Oh, and I've become more curmudgeonly than ever. Don't cross me or I'll swoop in, pin you with my razor-sharp talons and peck you like you've never been pecked before.

👴 Turkey Neck

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Photo by Jonathan Cooper on Unsplash

Yep, that's me.

Friends call me "the gobbler."

👴 Puffer Fish

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Photo by Stelio Puccinelli on Unsplash

First thing in the morning.

At least until I've had the chance to splash LOTS of ice cold water on my face.

👴 Lizard Lips

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Photo by David Clode on Unsplash

Kiss me, you fool!

👴 Pigeon Chest

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I didn't ask for this! Photo by Sneha Cecil on Unsplash

Well, some things still stick out nicely, so there's that!

👴 Nice Tits, Dude!

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Nice pair! Photo by Heather Wilde on Unsplash

I get this on the beach. A LOT!

And not just from bird watchers.

That's gotta be good. Right?

👴 Pork Belly

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Photo by Fabian Blank on Unsplash

HEY!

I can't help it if it sticks out. That's how I'm built now.

👴 Fat Ass

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Photo by Jürgen Scheeff on Unsplash

That's me, fat and happy.

👴 Sloth

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Photo by Michael Jerrard on Unsplash

Big chillin' 24–7–365

👴 Horny

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Photo by Chris Curry on Unsplash

Yeah, but not in a way anyone wants to engage with.

Yup, it's inevitable.

Everything falls, down, in, or both.

And things stick out that didn't used to or things that used to stick out, don't.

Live, Laugh, Love

or

Fret, Frown, Flail

I'll go with option number one … like a wild beast.

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Photo by Dmitriy Zub on Unsplash