Vincent Van Gogh: A Life of Sensitivity and Not Fitting In — And What It Taught Me

Just a few months ago, I finished reading the book "Lust for Life — The Story of Vincent Van Gogh" by Irving Stone, and little did I realise that my life would never be the same. It was after reading the book that I found myself always going back to reading more about Vincent, his letters, revisiting his art, movies about him, and breakdown videos of Starry Night (one of the most popular paintings of Van Gogh) on YouTube. Even as I sit down to write this, I feel that this one single man captured my entire consciousness.

While reading more and more about the artist, I could observe myself getting immersed in the world of Vincent, which made me wonder why he has a cult following of his own. Why do we fall for a man who was alive more than 135 years ago?

Vincent's art is almost dreamy and surreal, and it always feels like his paintings are the door to a new world. A world in which you want to immerse yourself and never come back to reality.

Vincent's life is no less than a roller coaster ride — a man unlucky in love, had his tryst with traditional religion and god, psychological collapse after abandonment by his friend (Paul Gauguin), involved in self-harm (cutting his ear), made his most iconic painting (Starry Night) in a mental asylum, his camaraderie with his brother Theo, died in penury thinking that he was a failed artist and the list goes on and on…. But after almost 135 years, why is Van Gogh still everywhere, in wallpapers, on the walls hanging, in 360-degree experience shows?

It's like he never left, very much present, but it's just not because of his extraordinary art, it's something much deeper, something that appeals to the human spirit. It's because Vincent didn't fit in, nor did he try to. He was complete within; his art was an expression of his completeness. Vincent didn't fail; people who tried to convince him to put his art in the traditional norms failed, Vincent didn't!!!

Because Vincent didn't try to fit in, his authentic self was alive which was not killed by mundanity and hence Vincent had this quality of openness, freedom, and feeling everything very passionately, whether its the sadness, pain, loneliness, or his desire for having a family with Kay Vos, his love for his brother Theo and most importantly the colours around him that speak so loudly in his paintings and yet feel so soothing. The sensitivity Vincent carries makes him so remarkable. By sensitivity, I don't mean the fragile ego or getting offended easily, but by sensitivity, I mean to see things as they are and not impose any compulsions on the world around us, freeing ourselves from them and experiencing life more freely.

What made my heart stop was the fact that Vincent never went against his conscience, and this is what made Vincent stick to what he considered right, and that's why Vincent encapsulates our hearts. Vincent's life is the epitome of having something higher than us, higher than our petty needs. All this worshipping of Vincent is the purest manifestation to rebel against all our assertions, societal norms and pursuing our truest potential without caring about the future. The level of immersion in art displayed by Vincent makes worrying about the future a disrespect to his own conscience. Vincent is the call for immersion in the present with the right work, and to find god in the right work, not in doctrine. Vincent has been a reminder to a 22-year-old that there's no point in fitting in.

When one comes across Vincent Van Gogh, it may seem like yes, Buddha was right, that life is indeed suffering, and Van Gogh was already married to pain and suffering, but there's sunshine for Van Gogh at the same time; he has art and Theo with him, which makes his life slightly blissful. Vincent Van Gogh is not just any artist with historical significance, but he is a subject of his own, and I feel that one single lifetime is not sufficient to understand Vincent Van Gogh completely.

Van Gogh's art rejuvenates one's existence, and his philosophy gives you a new birth. As I conclude to write on Vincent, I feel that not a single book, forget about this write-up, can do justice to the whole of Vincent Van Gogh. I can see myself studying, understanding and writing about the more layers of this legendary artist in the near future.