aSweetnShort: First Mission by Anneliese.

"Have you ever felt this?"

It is, perhaps, one of the questions I most often ask the world, whispered in quiet monologue when no one else is near.

To me, friendship stands as the third most precious gift, after love and family. Why? Because in this world, we are meant to lean on one another to give, and to receive. We are not made to walk alone.

I once tried very hard to be accepted by those I wished to draw close. I remember wondering: how is it that others seem to blend in so effortlessly, while I remain on the edge, unsure of how to step in? Why is it that conversations flow so easily for them, yet feel foreign to me? Should I try to like what they like, just to be part of the conversation, just to make friends more easily?

In time, I learned the answer was no. I stopped pretending to enjoy things that held no joy for me, simply for the sake of belonging. I told myself that I don't need to mold myself to fit in — I only need to be kind and understanding.

But even that did not always lead where I hoped it would.

There was a time I tried to befriend someone from my own group. I made the effort, replied to their tweets, started conversations in private messages. I thought, since we belonged to the same circle, perhaps friendship would grow more easily. But again, the closeness I sought did not come.

From there, my view began to widen.

I began to understand the nature of mutual need — that to need one another is not the same as forcing a connection. That however much I may wish to befriend someone, not every soul will match mine, no matter how earnestly I try. Some hearts are simply not meant to intertwine. And I've started to learn to accept that.

I truly welcome all kinds of friendships, with all kinds of personalities and rhythms, even those that run opposite to my own.

But I will not change the things I hold dear just to secure a friendship. I do not mean virtues or flaws, but rather the way I speak, the shows I enjoy, the hobbies I love, jokes I laughed at, or the hours I keep.

If friendship is written for us, then such differences will never be a burden to those who are meant to stay.

First mission, END.