Each person's time to get healed can be different. There's someone who can move on in 3 days, 1 week, 1 month, 3 month, 8 month, a year, or even so many years and that's okay. Feel the pain, feel the sadness, feel the rage, feel the disappointment, feel whatever that happen in your heart.

Myself in the past gonna feel confused and judging me so hard because i down bad because of one person. I cry every night, i started to hate myself, i shut myself off from everyone and thinking i'm not deserve for anyone. I know she's gonna slap me so hard so i can awake from that situation. Come on seriously what can i do??? my feeling is more stronger than my thoughts. I know i should not be treated that way, i know i need to let go of someone who never choose me in the first place, i know i just holding on to memories that makes me the happiest person at that time and i know i deserve better.

That nostalgia and the potential..…. i romanticize that, so it's hard for me to forget them.

Once again, it's okay. That's the part of healing journey, nothing is instant. There is situation when you keep yourself busy with purpose to forget about them and you actually feel better but it didn't last long, you start remembering them again and you fall into that hell circle again and again, and you think all that distraction is pointless. I told you healing is messy and that's very human to feel that way. To experience healing then you must become accustomed to emptiness and loss. It takes dicipline and patience to do that. And most people ain't built for that kind of healing.

But do you know how strong you gonna be to sit with what you feel and not run from it? you not jump for the next person for proving you're worthy, you not busy making story about how hurt you are so they feel regret about it (or they don't care at all), you just step in silence, only you and the conversation with god. The peace is for you. No revenge.

Along time goes by i starting to know myself worth again. I feel the missing pieces of myself starting to coming back. It takes so many months for me. Not easy but make me strong.

I think what happened in the past is needed to be happen, because i can learn so many things from that. A lot. Makes me learn about what i want in my life, how i love myself more, knowing the way someone treats me is not a reflection of my worthiness of love, i know what i want right now and i'm not gonna settling for the less, never again.

It takes time but that's okay, i rather in peace without having to survive again with someone who just confused me all the time. If you really like me show it to me don't playing with mind games again and just wasting my precious time.

if i'm in position to love someone again…. I hope it's from someone who won't randomly decide i'm not worth the effort I hope it's from someone who enjoy my everyday precense I hope it's from someone who speak softly and gentle to me I hope it's from someone who never see my love that i give is burden or too much I hope it's from someone who can love me and my family also I hope it's from someone who made me better in every aspect I hope it's from someone who respectful, love over lust I hope it's from someone who consider me in their future I hope it's from someone who always to choose me over and over again

Right now i'm humbled enough to accept that they're being okay by losing me. It's not my fault, it's their problem who can't see my genuine love. It's okay to be nobody in someone life.

And guys i'm gonna hold you while saying this…… "Someone who's value you will never sit in situation to lose you."

to know love is to know pain.

I know how hard it is, but let's have some respect to yourself. Let's wish nothing but the best for them and work on yourself. Good things and the bless will continue to come. Trust me.

I believe i'm gonna be someone best thing because i know what is feel like to be loved by me. It may takes time to find my love of my life but i know it's worth the wait.

No rush just step by step.